Life is Tough, But I am Tougher. I am, aren’t I?

This is the final draft of the short story that I wrote for my Introduction to Creative Writing Class in Spring 2023. I received feedback on this piece from Professor Shena McAuliffe and my peers taking the class with me.

Wednesday, 2:42 pm, School Library

Sitting in the four-story library building made of red brick and mortar located in the center of Westwood High School, Ruby was struggling to find a time in her schedule for her missed piano class. It was the last semester of high school and everything seemed to be going down the drain and the funny thing was that she did not seem to care about it.

Scribbling in her planner that she finally used after five weeks she wondered how motivated she was in her junior year. From orchestra, piano, volleyball, research, and a few other stuff that she cannot even remember, Ruby did them all while maintaining a steady 4.0 GPA. What happened this year she often
wondered. But still, she consoled herself by saying, “Life is Tough, But I am Tougher. I am, aren’t I,?”. She hated the self-doubt that seemed to follow her everywhere this year.
“Ruby, you are scribbling on the desk, !” pointed out Zoe. “Oh shit,” said Ruby, seeing what she meant when claiming everything was going wrong. Ruby then thought to herself that she would figure out all of it later after school as then she would be more relaxed. Laurie and Zoe were her friends from fifth grade and most of the time they would spend their time together hanging out in the library trying to find new books to read. Well, according to Ruby they would only “try” to find, and every day they would dump the book they had taken the previous day and again try to find a new one. It was such a useless exercise and Ruby loved reading books and seeing such amateur actions of her friends irritated her to a great extent. “I do not know how you guys are my friends,” murmured Ruby under her breath,

“What’s that, ?” asked Zoe. “Nothing, how long are you guys gonna take,?” replied Ruby.

“This one seems interesting,” Ruby looked up and saw Laurie holding up a geosciences book. Cool, it felt nice to be ignored by everyone.
Anyway, she always thought that geology had nothing to do with science and she once made a joke that “geology does not rock, you just study them”, but then Laurie got mad at her and did not speak to her for weeks so she stopped making jokes. Like Laurie even understood the “G” in geology, everything was just a so-called passion for them until they were done with it in two days.
According to Ruby, passion is something that one relentlessly pursues and goes against all odds for it. It is not something that changes every other day and Ruby knew just like Filmmaking, geology would also stop being interesting to Laurie in a month. Then, lo and behold there is going to be a new passion, again.

“Beneath Our Feet: Exploring the Wonders of Geology, what a fabulous name! , ”
exclaimed Laurie, and then she beams about the illustration of the rugged mountain range rising from the earth, with layers of rock exposed on its slopes. Ruby rolled her eyes and tried to think of the last time she had peace and was surrounded by people who had brains. It was as it is hard for her to concentrate at home due to the constant squabbling between her sisters and parents. At school, she felt like she did not fit in as she was a scholarship student and unlike her friends Laurie and Zoe she did not have the liberty to nitpick on what she wanted to do. She
knew she had to choose a major that would help her make money just after graduating. They just did not understand, every other day they had a social event planned that they would push Ruby to go to and well, she could not. It has been ages since Ruby had a new dress and every evening if she went out who was going to work on the scholarship applications, study for the AP classes, and most importantly take care of her two silly younger sisters?

Sometimes she wished she was not born into a low-income family and had all the opportunities to explore just like her friends. To make that worse, Ruby’s mother, Cristina was not an easy-going woman and according to Ruby, she complicated almost everything in the house and restrained Ruby from doing the things that she wanted to do.

“ I do not know, Laurie,” said Zoe interrupting Ruby’s trail of thoughts, “You have to learn how to make quick choices, life is tough as a student,” continued Zoe.
Then they both started laughing uncontrollably at the joke. Making tough choices is a joke? Well, it is not when you actually have to make them. Seriously, these people are so blinded by their privilege that they do not even have an idea of how hard it is to make choices against your will, thought Ruby to herself.

Ruby loved Shakespeare and once during the first semester of her junior year after watching Macbeth on T.V., she told her mother that she was going to take a Shakespeare English course during family dinner. Everyone looked at her as if she said that she wanted to be like Lady Macbeth. Jeez!
That was followed by a long lecture by her mother about how will she make up credits and finish studying for AP examinations if she was distracted by something unrelated. Ruby ended up taking up AP Psychology instead of the Shakespeare class. She hated it when Zoe bragged about how the class was taken on a field trip to Warner Theatre to watch The Tempest.

“Should I loan it then, ” Laurie said interrupting her trail of thoughts, again. “Go for it and tell me all about it when you are done reading!” said Ruby, trying to be encouraging of her friends.
“You want to hear about geology, seriously what is happening to our Ruby,” exclaimed Zoe with an unserious smirk on her face. “Maybe she is learning to be more sympathetic toward others,” said Laurie sarcastically, and then both of them started to laugh uncontrollably.

“No, no I think she is trying to expand her horizons and pursue something Non-stem for a chance,” added Zoe almost choking on laughter.


“Shut up,” snapped Ruby.

“What the hell, we were joking calm down jeez,” said Zoe, “No you do not get to tell me what to do, okay? especially when you do not know what it is like for
me. I do not have an easy life like you guys, other than academics I have ten other things to do,” retaliated Ruby.
“Okay please, do not give that “responsibility” bullshit! I also have a hundred things to do, like today I had to miss my nail appointment because of the reflection paper I had to write for the history class, !”, said Laurie.


“Please, it is an introductory level course for which you had to write a three-page reflection paper, and that also DOUBLE-SPACED. That is the bare minimum, Laurie. You are talking about an intro-level course in your senior year of high school and complaining about it, fantastic, !” retaliated Ruby.
“Just because something is easy for you does not mean it is for everyone, !” protested Zoe. Again that typical attitude for covering up excuses of not putting effort into work thought Ruby. Their conversation was interrupted by Ruby’s mother’s call which meant she had reached school to pick them up.

“ You know what, you guys are so evidently dumb, and Laur like I care about your dumb book, just take it so that we are done, Mom is waiting for us in the car,” said Ruby. She realized it came off much harsher than she intended it to but she was sick and tired of people making fun of her and constantly dealing with people who had no compassion. Why the hell did people have to be like that?

Wednesday, 3:23 pm, Ruby’s car

The atmosphere in the car was not talkative like it usually was on the other days.
“So what is up with you girls,” chimed in Ruby’s mother. After a few seconds of silence,
“Hello girls, anyone there, ?” Seeing that no one was going to respond, Ruby went on to say “Yeah everyone is a bit tensed because finals for this semester are in two weeks, plus college decisions come out in a month,”.


“Come on guys, this is your last year and you should have some fun! These days will never come back,” said Cristina. Ruby thought to herself how the hell are people such big hypocrites? Just yesterday her mom gave her a thousand-hour lecture on how these three last months of high school will “shape her
future”.

Bullshit.

She said the same thing after middle school and well it is not true. Like
eighteen years is not enough to shape your life, it is basic common sense to understand that. There were times when Ruby questioned to what extent her family’s beliefs and actions influenced her development as she was raised within the confines of a well-meaning yet hypocritical family. She learned about the theories of nature vs nurture in her AP Psychology class and the mere thought of becoming a mirror image of her family filled her with trepidation.
But at the same time, Ruby felt like it was better to be a hypocrite than an amateur. Even though, the thought of hypocrisy repelled her she realized that, in comparison to the shallow depths of amateurism that she saw in people around her she would rather embrace the complexities of her family’s flawed yet familiar belief system.

“Bye, see you in abacus class at 7,” said Ruby in a monotonous voice. “Ruby, what is this way,” said her mom. There we go. “What happened now, Mom,” Ruby said in an irritated voice. “You are becoming weird day by day and I do not understand why you cannot even wave properly to your friend. Think about how bad they might have felt,?” “They do not give a bloody shit, Cristina,” said Ruby with her irritation rising.

“Language, young lady, and what is with the first naming,? ” retaliates Cristina.
“Okay sorry but can we please have a quiet ride back home, I have a splitting headache,” Ruby said, expecting a sarcastic remark to follow. “Your generation has too many excuses, when I was your age, I worked two jobs along with college coursework and a million other things,” followed
up Cristina. “Okay Mom, that is great but you know right that I am trying my best right, so could you once please like I don’t know consider that, ?” replied Ruby. “ If there are no results, there is no point in you working hard, I am being very realistic Ruby, it is either that or you are not working hard enough,” says Cristina.
This is it, Ruby did not need this constant criticism in her life, she deserved better than this. That is why Ruby was going to select a college that was at least ten hours’ drive away from home. In that way, she would at least have a significant amount of notice if her family was coming over.
She felt like she was plotting but it had been a lot for her to deal with this constant bullying and she needed to separate it from herself.


“Ruby,!” screamed Cristina, “Were you able to book a make-up class for piano,?” Damn it, Ruby completely forgot about it not because she wanted to but because Laurie distracted her. “I forgot and there is no way I can make up this weekend, remember I have an abacus competition,?” replied Ruby. “That is so irresponsible of you, I am paying the pianist $500 per class and it is hard-earned money. There is no point if you waste it like this by not going to
class,” said Cristina while parking the car in the driveway. “ I will figure it out, Mom. You can stop worrying,” said Ruby even though she had no clue how
she would do it. “ Yeah, you better,” replied Cristina

Dinner Time, 4:15 pm, Ruby’s House

Exhausted from learning all about how the human brain works, Ruby sat down to dinner munching her peas and it almost felt like her brain had stopped working. “Ruby eat fast, you have abacus class at 7 and you do not want to miss it like the piano class. We pay a lot for this also remember,” said Cristina in a stern tone.
Ruby made a face and told herself, “ Did I ask to be in the abacus class, NO. Did you listen to me? Again, NO,”.

“Mom, Ruby is making fun of me by talking to herself,” chimes Lizzy in her annoying voice. “HAWW, me too, why are you doing this, Ruby,” adds Glory. “Shut up, idiots,” said Ruby, God she was so happy to finally get rid of them in a few more months.

“MOM, MOM,” shrieked both Glory and Lizzy, “Ruby again called us idiots,”.
“Enough girls, all of you are impossible, can’t we have one meal without you all fighting,” said Cristina. “ I did not even do anything, Mom,” adds Ruby. “Quiet, eat your food,” says Cristina in a cold tone. After that, there was a millisecond of peace, and then Glory started again “We work more than you Ruby, what will you do in college, missing classes is not good,”? “I will steal your room once you are gone,” chimed in Lizzy, Glory retaliated by saying

“Why will you get it? I should also get it,!”

What idiots! Ruby wanted to slap these two as hard as she could at times and teach them not to be annoying. She always thought that all the twins in the world were weird as hell and her sisters gave her a headache every day.
“Oh my god, will you guys shut up,” shouted Ruby, “I am still here for eight months, you cowards and neither of you is getting anything that belongs to me,”
Cristina finally says “Girls stop it and Ruby quit yelling at dinner,”. “Are you kidding me,?” told Ruby “Right now dumb and dumber were fighting at the top of their voices, and then no one was saying anything, I basically made them stop,”
“Whatever, go to your room and study,” said Cristina, and after finishing her food Ruby quietly left.

Ruby shut the door behind her as she entered her room, blocking out the outside world that seemed intent to drag her down. She could escape all the criticism and disappointment in her room, which was decorated in calming lavender tones. A strong oak desk with a laptop and a collection of books was leaning up against one of the walls but in a mess.

Ruby used the desk as her study space, a location where she dove into the depths of knowledge and broadened her horizons intellectually. She had a cozy place to study or lost herself in the alluring worlds of literature with a comfortable chair curled up against it. This was her place and the only place where she wanted to be after a long day of school, it was like a friend that shielded her from the emotional turmoil and insensitivity that she often faced in her daily life. She was free here and during the little time she spent in her room not sleeping, she often wondered about her strained relationship with her mother.

She knew things were hard for her after the divorce and the constant problems she had with their father regarding shared custody. But that was no reason to take it out on her and over time Ruby learned that there was no point in arguing with people who would not even make an effort to understand her point of view, even her mother. Ruby always wondered why she always sought validation from her mother, it seemed like all her mother’s negativity was directed toward her and she was hell-bent on finding flaws in her, even though in some situations nothing was her fault. This toxic relationship also made her irritable and led her to vent her frustration on people who meant no harm such as her little sisters and friends. Sure, they were irritating at times but they did not deserve the harsh treatment that she had been giving the past months. Her relationship with her mother had no hope, thought Ruby and it was just the way it was and she decided to live with it.
There was still an hour and a half left for her abacus class and Ruby decided to take a quick power nap before she fought another battle.

9 pm, Ruby’s Bedroom

Shit. Ruby woke up feeling fresh but she knew she was in deep trouble. She sees four missed calls from Zoe and two from Laurie and jumps out of bed frightened thinking about what her mom will say. Everything is a mess and how the hell did she miss her freaking alarm? Of course, she set it for 6 am instead of 6 pm, AHHHH!

“Ruby, come down right now,” called Cristina from downstairs. Oh god, again! What a nightmare, thought Ruby as she reluctantly went downstairs.

With an unsympathetic look and tone, Cristina asked her “ Have you decided to completely let go of yourself during the last months of high school,”. Ruby sighed, “Sorry Mom, I will reschedule my abacus class for some other day,”. She sat down and took a sip of water, her head was spinning from all the things that she had to do in the coming days.
“ No, you listen to me young lady, your negligence in everything has been evident for a long and this is not how it works in my house,” says Cristina.”

“ I will make up the class at some other time Mom, will you please stop…,?”

Ruby was saying when Cristina interrupted her and out of the blue asked “ Tell me honestly, are you doing drugs or drinking with those kids from across the house? I saw you talking with them at the market yesterday, and you were admiring all the tattoos all over their body. How disgusting,!”

That was it. Ruby decided she would not take it anymore, enough was enough.

She stood up and looked up at her mom in the eye and said “ Are you bloody insane,”?.

A moment of silence and there was a loud noise. Cristina slapped Ruby hard across the face and then said “ How dare you talk to your mother like that,”?
Without keeping it back anymore Ruby said “ It is exhausting, I have a lot going on okay? And then I have to hear you all mock me for every little thing I do. Will it kill you to show a little bit of compassion,”?
Cristina had never seen her daughter in such a vulnerable state before and this only strengthened her suspicion of her doing drugs.

“What,?” screamed Ruby at her mom as this was the longest her mom had gotten without mocking her.

“ You are grounded”, says Cristina. “and I will find out if you are doing drugs, and if I do, you are in a lot of trouble, young lady,”

“Are you for real,?” screams Ruby, “That is what comes to your mind. Is that what all of you think of me? I am like so stupid to even start this conversation thinking that you all will have even an ounce of common sense,” Are you calling your mother a stupid, young lady,?” Cristina looks at her surprised.
Ruby says in retaliation, “Are you not behaving like a stupid person would, now ?”. Glory came to their mother’s defense and asked her elder sister not to scream as it was making her anxious. “Oh shut up, do not even try to give me wisdom, you little useless brat, ”, Ruby told Glory in an unkind tone. “Enough, I need pin-drop silence now, !”

Cristina screamed and after that, she turned toward Ruby and said to her “ You are not going to summer holidays with us instead you will
stay back in the house and volunteer with the local pharmacy and help babysit the Miller’s kids,”

“Gladly,”, Ruby left after responding to her mother.

11 pm, Ruby’s Bedroom

Ruby threw her Macbeth book toward the wall and even though she was screaming internally, she knew she could not make a noise or even express herself as that would again be another issue. Ruby felt suffocated by the weight of her unexpressed emotions, she clenched her fists and tried to find her journal where she started writing her thoughts and goals during the college application cycle. She could not find it, most probably because it was somewhere under the heavy physics and mathematics books in her drawer. She had no energy to find that but her eyes
fell onto her sketching book.

“Wow, when did I buy this,” said Ruby, and as she opened it she
saw her unsuccessful attempts in trying to sketch.
There were so many of them but one caught her attention and it was of Lizzy. She recalled it was during the family picnic of 2018, those were the happiest days of her life when her parents were together and her mom was not so bitter and mean to her all the time. What baffled her the most though was how she had the time to dedicate to sketching, it seemed impossible now. But still, she decided to try to do some sketching today as she needed desperately to do something that made her happy.

As she scribbled in her sketchbook, Ruby realized that she needed to carve out time for the things she enjoyed. She owed it to herself and from now on she would pursue her hobbies and find peace in the act of creating something beautiful, despite the obstacles and demands she had to face.
Now, Ruby did not care about being grounded or not being able to go with her family on a stupid vacation. Being home alone will help her, she will figure out her next steps and will try to be the best version of herself, even if it does not make her mother happy.
“Screw making everyone happy, so what if Life is Tough,?” wrote Ruby in her sketchbook, “I am Tougher,”

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